The Two Jameses
by RodentFace
Summary: Lily catches James kissing another girl. But when she confronts him, a second James walks into the room. Not actually as angsty or depressing as it sounds.


Author's Note: I actually got the idea for this story from reading the summary of another story with the same premise but I assure, a very different plot. Mine is far more humorous while that other story was more serious.

Also, yes, in my mind, Lisa Brown is related to Lavender Brown. Not sure if she's an aunt or whoever, but whatever. I was originally going to use Marlene McKinnon, but in one of my other stories, Lily's Crush, Marlene was fairly a Lily/James fan. So then I was going to use Emmeline Vance, but I already had a story idea where she was also going to be sort of paired with Sirius. And the only other girl in the original Order of the Phoenix (other than Lily) was Dorcas Meadows and that just didn't sound like a sexy name. So I just made up a character (who is totally related to Lavender). Anyway, Enjoy.

Lily couldn't believe her eyes.

James was kissing Lisa Brown.

No, it's wasn't just that. No, James was cheating on her. With Lisa Brown.

Let's take this from the beginning. Lily had left her Transfiguration book in the DADA room when she and James had had a nice little snogging session in there yesterday, but when she went to retrieve it, she not only found her book, but also found that she was not the only girl James brought in the DADA room.

Lily picked up her book (no matter how upset she was, she was _not _going to let it affect her schoolwork) and ran back to Gryffindor Tower. She ignored whoever it was that tried to talk to her and didn't stop running until she was safely alone in her dormitory.

_Just think calmly, Evans_, Lily thought. _Maybe she kissed him and he was trying to push her off._ But even as she thought this, the image of him pulling that _blonde_ closer played before her eyes. All she could think about how James had said that he'd never dated any other girls because he wanted his first kiss to be with Lily. _Well, he got what he wanted_, she thought bitterly. _Now I guess he can do whatever he wants with any other girl. Or maybe it was all a lie._ The suspicions that she'd had in her fifth year and before (that James only sought after her to prove that he could; that he liked the chase better than her) resurfaced.

But there was still a little part of her that couldn't believe James, _her_ James would do such a thing.

And that's what made it so terrible. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cry, but she couldn't help it. Glad that none of her roommates were there, Lily allowed herself to collapse on the floor, sobbing.

Once she'd cried until all the tears were gone (how much time had passed by?) she picked up her Transfiguration book and marched towards the stairs, planning on finishing her homework in the Common Room.

Unfortunately there were only two people in the Common Room and one of them was likely to be hexed.

James Potter and Remus Lupin were sitting on the couch discussing Quidditch, a sport Lily had never hated so much in her entire life, when James noticed his girlfriend standing on the girls' dormitory stairs, looking livid.

"Hey, Lily. What's wrong…." he began, but she cut him off.

"You _arse_!" she shouted. "How _dare _you! I can't believe I-I…." At a loss for words, she grabbed handfuls of hair, trying not to burst into tears again.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, genuinely bewildered.

But Lily knew how good of a liar he could be if he wanted. "I _saw_ you! I _saw _you kissing Lisa Brown in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room!"

Remus' face collided with his hand, but neither of them paid him much mind.

Appalled, he asked, "What are you talking about! I would never….." Comprehension dawned on his face. "Oh! Lily, you weren't supposed to see that! I can explain. I-"

"Obviously," Lily scoffed. "What guy _wants_ his girlfriend to see him snogging another girl?"

"No!" he now looked genuinely worried. "It wasn't what it looked like."

"Because I haven't heard that one before," she sneered. But before anyone could say anything else on the matter, the strangest possible thing happened.

James Potter walked into the room.

Hand in hand with Lisa Brown.

The James on the couch looked at the James with Lisa and the James with Lisa looked at the James on the couch. Lisa and Lily (both at a loss of words) looked back and forth between the two Jameses.

"I told you something like this would happen?" Remus muttered. "But no, don't listen to me."

"Well, that plan was a bust," the James on the couch sighed finally. "Sorry, Moony."

"What plan?" Lily asked suspiciously eying the James who was no longer holding Lisa's hand.

"Well," couch-James said, "Moony and I were a bit tired of James always pranking people, but never getting pranked himself. So, we, ah, 'borrowed' some of Slughorn's Polyjuice Potion and I was going to do something crazy and get James in trouble."

"But Padfoot had to be an idiot and get caught," Remus chimed in. He looked up at the James who was once again hand-in-hand with Lisa. "Sorry, James."

"Why would you guys do that?" Lisa's James asked.

"I wasn't going to do anything serious. Well, actually," couch-James, said, relishing in his best mate's favorite over-used pun, "I _was_ going to do something Sirius, but I was going to make it look like something James."

Everyone else in the room rolled their eyes and Lisa and her James left, seeing as this wasn't a private room as they'd hoped.

"Alright, James, what's going on?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes, though unsure of whether or not she should be angry.

"Okay, so Sirius has really been wanting to get with Lisa Brown for, I don't know how long, but apparently she really has a thing for _me_," he sighed. "So he came up with this brilliant plan to use some of Slughorn's Polyjuice Potion so that she would think he was me. I didn't want to do it, but well….."

"Whenever Sirius makes the, no pun intended, puppy-dog eyes, James usually caves and does whatever he wants."

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"But I wouldn't do it!" James insisted.

"But Sirius kept pestering him and he agreed just to shut him up," Remus scoffed.

"Did you try _silencio_?" Lily asked.

"Lily, I cannot tell you how sorry I am," James pleaded.

"I told them it was a bad idea from the beginning. But does anyone listen to me? No," Remus muttered and seemed to pull a book out of nowhere.

"You realize that you are a complete idiot, right?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but…" James began.

"But you're _my_ idiot," Lily smiled, plopped down on the couch right next to James, and threw her arms around him.

"Wait, you're just going to forgive him that easily?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, why not?" Lily asked.

"Ssssh! Who's side are you on, anyway, Moony?" James asked scandalized.

"Lily's," Remus replied. "I mean, you don't even have any proof that that's the real James."

"Well, the other one was certainly a fake," Lily shrugged.

"And you know this how?"

"His hair was much to neat."

XXX

"Sirius, you gotta tell her the truth," James said that night as they were all getting ready for bed.

"Night, everybody," Frank called.

"Night," Remus and Peter replied.

"Why would I wanna do that?" Sirius asked. "She's absolutely loves me because she thinks I'm _you_!"

"Lily _saw_ you!" James hissed.

"Yeah, that wasn't supposed to happen, but you were right there to explain it," Sirius shrugged.

"No, I mean when you guys were in the Defence room," James said.

Sirius' eyes widened. "Oh, James, I am so sor…"

"Prove it by telling her the truth."

"But she's doesn't like me! She likes you!"

James put a hand on his best mate's shoulder, "If she isn't into you for _you_, then she's not worth it."

XXX

The next night at dinner, Lily glanced around the Great Hall, puzzled. She saw Lisa Brown glaring at her from where she sat with the other sixth years. But she didn't see the friend for whom she was looking. "Where's Sirius?" she asked James.

"Hospital Wing," he replied.

"Why? What happened?"

"He told Lisa the truth."


End file.
